Friday, 9 March 2018

THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES: Book Summary (HOW TO IMPRESS A GIRL)


Hello Friends.

There was a man who was very rich. He had almost everything in his life,still he was not happy. One day the Author asked him,the reason behind his sadness. because he had everything that a normal person dreams of . That man replied. what’s the use of these luxurious things. When my family and my wife doesn’t love me !.


Human’s most Dominating feelings are Love And Fear. And I Personally Feel that love is much powerful than Fear. Love can make a weak person so powerful, that he can make a path between the mountain. And on the other side it can make a Healthy powerful person so weak. that he could not take his own meal with his own hands.

                                                             I cant say about the other feelings but yes every human needs love. Even if you have everything in your life, still if there is nobody to love you. Then you will feel that the life is waste and of no use. Whether we say it or not. but we all want to get lot of love from our loved ones. Love from our parents from kids , life partner and also the love from friend.

Author Gary Chapman, who is an Expert of relationships, family, and marriages. Says every human contains a love tank. which needs love from their loved ones. Till they get that love and support from their loved ones, they feel mentally and physically stable. They feel happy. But if they do not get that love and support which they expect, then that love tank starts getting empty. They feel unstable mentally and physically. They do not feel good and happy and start getting frustrated. And when finally that love tank gets empty. Then the bigger problem starts in a relationship. Like fights, sadness and other bad things happen. which slowly ends love and destroy the relationships.


Emotional love tank needs to be filled so that we can feel happy and wonderful in our life. But sadly,Most of the people doesn’t get the love what they expect. This doesn’t mean that their loved ones do not love them. But the actual reason is, that most of the people love language is different. which we fail to understand.


Example.


We all have a primary language which we also call as a mother tongue. It is comfortable for us to understand and speak. There are chances of knowing other languages as well, like English, Marathi, Sanskrit etc. But, still will be more familiar and comfortable in speaking and understand our mother tongue.

                                                            Similarly, we all have Different love primary language. Which we understand the mos. And this primary language then fills the love tank properly. Love has (five) Languages. If you want a happy and nice relationship with your family and with your soul mate. Then you must know these Five(5) languages of love. You should know what is the love language of your loved ones. which make them feel special and happy. After understanding, you should express your love as per their primary language. can fill their love tank properly.

So lets begin...



Love language No.1 (Words of Affirmation)


A husband and wife used to fight a lot. Husband tried his best to make her feel happy. By doing everything , working hard giving proper money to her. Helping her with house work. For this his wife also Respects him. But still, she never used to feel that he loves her. This thing Frustrates the husband. But here, it wasn’t wifes mistake. Even after doing so much for her,he never feel the need of saying to her,that how much he loves her. why he loves her. Never Compliments her. He feels all these things are filmy. it looks good on screen, not in real life. Actual love is to fulfill the needs of the family, which he does with all his commitment.


Now, this thing is as stupid as trying to explain a Malayalam person in hindi. And getting frustrated ,why he doesn’t understand ,even after speaking in Hindi so fluently. similarly,for his wife the words were the actual and the most important reason for feeling that love and care. His wife primary love language was the word of affirmation. But he was expressing his love in different primary language.


Word of affirmation is saying something to your partner which make them feel good.


Example.


Saying I LOVE YOU. Why to love them. always telling them the reason why you love them by saying or writing or by anything. To say something which encourages them. To compliment them. To appreciate them for every small and bug things they do etc. Those who have word of affirmation as their primary love language . will feel good when you say good things to them. Only then they can feel your real love and care.


But if you do not say a simple special words to them,their love tank will not be filled.

and they wont feel your love.


Love language No.2 (Quality Time)


Those who have Quality time as their Love Language. If you compliment them,say how much you love them,why you love them. They will feel good. but will not feel your true love. Instead, they will feel your love when you spend some quality time with them. Here Quality time doesn’t mean to spend entire day at home by watching T.V or listening their conversation while watching tv,engaged in mobile. This is not a quality time. here quality time means, giving undivided attention to the. To be present with them at the moment . and talk to them,do things which make them feel good and happy. maybe doing painting or cooking together. or sitting at beach having conversation.


when you spend a quality time with them then only they will feel that love and will be happy.



Love Language No.3 (Receiving Gifts)


Who does not like to gets gifts? And whose primary language is this, sometimes they expect a gift from you. Gifts are very special. Because it makes your loved ones feel good and special and make them realize,that you think about them. and while taking that gift you were remembering them. Whenever they see your gift,it will remind them about yo. which is the most wonderful feeling for them.


Now, if you are thinking how i can give a gift daily. my financial condition is not so good,, I have so many other problems. So, no one has told you to give expensive gifts. To make someone feel your true love is very simple. Just by giving chocolates,or a rose, or a simple card or anything. which can make your loved ones and family members entire day happy and wonderful.


Now if you are financially stable, then you should give expensive gifts too. But do remember, your feelings will not be measured by your gift price. But your intention behind your gift will be the reason which will make the person happy. I have seen many time,that some small and less expensive gifts. has become the most special and closed gift for them,they keep it safe and always handle it with car. Most of the time there is no need for a materialistic gift. Your time and efforts can be a gift for them.


So make a habit and give pleasant gifts to your loved ones. especially whose love language is this. it will make your relationship much stronger and better.



Love language No.4 (The act of service)


The story which i told you in the first primary language. About the husband and wife,the way husband try to show his love towards his wife. is the act of service language. When someone’s primary language is this,they will not feel not be happy. Just because you bring gifts for them, and compliment them. Instead they will feel your true love when you help them for some work. always carry their responsibilities properly. If required to share responsibilities with each other.


work like for example,cooking food.

Cleaning the house,earning money to fulfill the house needs,to fulfill the children needs et.


Love Language No.5 (Physical Touch)


Nowadays, Our thinking is so corrupted. I know,as i have said the word physical touch most of the people have thought something bad. so let me clear,to have sex is not the only way of physical touch. Instead, it is a very pure language to show your love.


Example


When a mother kiss or hug her child to show her love. it’s also a physical touch. or when we feel sad or something ad happens with you. at that time we hug our friends or closed ones. because at that time we need that love and support. Physical touch is a very strong way of showing your love or feeling the love.


Whose primary language is this,they want you to hug them cuddle them. There is no need to be sexual. just spending some time together while watching tv,,hold their hands while walking. These things can make them feel your love.


Some of the kids,whose primary love language is this. Their parents must think times before hitting them. Because it is also a physical touch,but in a negative way. which can disturb them mentally. Do remember,if you do something negative in their love language. they will feel worst.


Example.


If someone’s love language is word of affirmation and you say something bad or negative. or you do not appreciate. they will feel worst as compare to anyone.


so to conclude.


Try to find out the primary love language of yours and your loved ones. and show them your love by their primary love language. so their emotional love tank will always be filled.


Sometimes you can use all five languages . but maximum should be your loved ones primary language. that will be more Impactful and can make your relationship stronger.


I have shared this with you all from the Five languages book by Gary chapman.


If you want to understand these languages in detail. and many useful things which can make your relationship with your family,friends and your love partner. Do like this Article if you find this useful. comment your views.


share this Article to others and make their life also happy and good.

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 And Finally Thanks for Reading…

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