Saturday, 24 March 2018

HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN 90 SECONDS: Book Summary By Nicholas Boothman

Hello friends,

Today I will explain how you can attract someone and make them like it or you can impress with just talking 90 seconds, Here the author says 90 seconds because Research shows and even you know that today Our attention span has been greatly reduced.


The ads of the magazine have only 2 seconds to catch your attention, And if you like that ad in those 2 seconds, it will only give that ad time. If you do not find it attractive, simply turn the page and move on.


People easily form their opinions about us Just after a few seconds of our conversation with them, Therefore, it is necessary for us to form a good impression at first only and capture your attention at the same time, This can be really very useful for your personal and professional life.

Most people do not understand, what they should talk about when they meet someone for the first time. And this makes them nervous and they begin to behave awkwardly. And as a result of which, what happens, they fail to form a good bond or relationship with the opposite person and many times people do not even like it, and they do not even want to talk to them again. Because of his first bad impression.

Therefore, if you do not want to, such a thing happens to you or if you want to learn how to form a strong connection with people and I want to impress people talking So, in today's video, I will share this alone I will share how you can form an emotional connection with anyone How should we talk to others? What should we talk about? etc. after understanding all these things I'm sure he will become a professional communicator. Let's start...

Now, to make this possible, we first have to understand three Main parts :-

  • First part MEETING
  • Second part that establishes a RAPPORT
  • Third part COMMUNICATION

Meet any person and start communicating with them between these two important meeting steps and communication seconds, a window appears in those 90 seconds, you can create Rapport and you can impress the opposite person and can form an emotional level connection. And what exactly is Rapport, I'll explain later, so do not worry These points are really very important, therefore, I will explain each point in detail.

Let's start with No.1) which is MEETING

If you give the correct impression in 3 or 4 seconds after meeting someone, So this will make you look reliable, sincere and safe Which is really very important to create a RAPPORT. so now I'm going to share five little tips Following it, in a few seconds you can create a correct impression,

No.1) Be open

It means having an open attitude and a body language, not closed.


If you are talking to someone by bending your hand or standing / sitting taking up less space, all these examples are for closed body language. While, if you keep your hands open, and keep a space between your legs and space while sitting or standing, these are examples of open body language. Therefore, always try to form an open body language while knowing someone by doing this, it will appear impressive. The remaining 4 points also refer to open body language, so follow them too.

B) Eye contact

In the videos related to the communication that I have shared, how powerful can the eye contact be while I talk to someone, here I will not say much, remember, that maintaining a visual contact will show how safe and attractive you are. while maintaining less eye contact shows that you are nervous or that you are lying or that you are not interested, which is not good most of the time. One more thing, it's not like that, you should not look anywhere and you should always keep eye contact always. You must maintain eye contact, depending on the situation, if necessary, you must maintain it; if not, then you should, if the eye contact is not necessary in a particular situation, you still do it, then it may seem strange, therefore, to understand.

C) Beam means a genuine smile.

After making eye contact, what you should do is give the person a smile, before he / she does this it will reflect your positive attitude and remember that you should give a genuine and friendly smile, not a creepy or strange smile.

D) Greeting

After smiling, you should start a conversation by greeting them, with good tone and with a lot of energy. By saying HI, HELLO OR NAMASKAR, anything you want to start your conversation with. And remember that the better you present yourself, the more pleasant it will be. the opposite person will also appear and one more thing, this is a good time to know more about the opposite person.

For example, If you know someone and you say HELLO, the person in front will also answer that only WHEN SAY HELLO, that's all. It will remain silent, so this can make the situation more uncomfortable and strange. BUT if you say, HELLO MY NAME IS RAJ AND I AM A YOUTUBER. So you will even receive a great response, like Hey I AM Rahul and I am an Architect. I know that this is not the best example, but you must have understood. The better you present yourself, the greater the response you will receive, with the help. from which you can expand your conversation.

E) lean

While speaking with someone slightly leaning forward Not much but little, this will show the opposite person that you are interested in them and their talk and also feel comfortable and open with them, try not to do so much while meeting the opposite sex . It may seem needy and desperate, which does not look good.

2) Establish a good relationship

Among the three parts, this is the most important part because here you can form a connection of mental and emotional level with people because here you can form a connection of mental and emotional level with people, so that people will begin to like you in a different level. you must be aware that humans are emotional creatures, that they mostly make decisions through the heart, not through the brain and Rapport training will help us to create an emotional connection. By understanding the feelings and emotions of others, I will now share some points to form a good relationship.

A) Attitude

Sometimes, while talking to your friends or close relatives, you realize that you are sad or angry. He asked them: WHAT HAPPENED? EVERYTHING IS FINE? At that time, they give a fake smile and say yes everything is fine, I'm fine :) What you do not believe and then you get to know that yes, you were thinking about your emotion, well, for some reasons We came to know that they are lying. But have you ever thought about what is the reason why we come to know that something is wrong? Then, answer for this because of your attitude.

Because our attitude directly impacts our mind and our mind is completely connected to our body. So, what happens if your attitude is full of anger? No matter how well you try to talk, but people will understand your anger through facial expression, through your tone of voice and through your body language that will not allow you to build a Rapport. Therefore, instead of maintaining a negative attitude while talking to people, such as anger, boredom, impatience, etc. Try to maintain a positive attitude while talking with people like, stay calm, patient, confident, etc.

B) Art of synchronization

Suppose you like soccer, then your link will be more with those people who have the same interest as you. If you like to watch GOT (Game of Thrones), then you will love spending time with the GOT Fans. You should keep in mind that people with common interests easily relate to each other and are comfortable with each other easily and form a connection. Why does this happen? because we love to spend time with those people who are like us or have the same interest as us, people who have similar thoughts, have similar ideas about life. Not always, but most of the time, our link will be less with those who are opposed to us. Therefore, if we synchronize with others, or if we do things like this, this will really help us to form RAPPORT. I will not talk about thoughts and ideas, it may differ But I will talk about some practical things that can be similar to all of which we can easily synchronize and can form a connection with the other person.

To synchronize with others, we must focus on 3 V'S

1) Visual
2) Vocal.
2) Verbal


55 percent of our communication is based on visual aspects. To be specific, it depends on body language.


38 percent of communication depends on our tone of voice.


only 7 percent depends on your verbal communication

The first thing we get to know here, the most important thing is our body language and synchronize it is really very important and to synchronize body language you can use a very simple technique called Duplication.


Here you must copy the body language of the opposite person. Example if a person while speaking is keeping one hand on the other. Then you also calmly keep your hand on the other hand while speaking if you lean towards you to say something, you also lean towards them And at any level you can copy your body language, do it But remember one thing, they do not understand or you do not realize that you are deliberately doing that, I suppose the person is touching your shoulder, then you do not need to do that. If you do that, then the opposite person will understand that something is not right, and a relationship will not form.

Now let's talk about the second V that is vocal communication. Your 38 percent communication depends on the way you speak, therefore, it is very important to synchronize this as well. The first thing you can do to synchronize the voice is the voice tone of the opposite person, if the opposite person is asking you something in an exciting tone Then you also respond in an exciting tone Example, suppose your friend comes and asks you HOW? IT'S YOU? (EXCITING) Then you also answer exciting TO THE GOOD BROTHER, and if he says something in an emotional tone Then you also respond in an emotional tone and in a similar way you can synchronize the other tone of voice.

And in this, the other thing you can synchronize is volume and speed. If the opposite person says something out loud, you also speak little loudly and if they speak slowly you also speak slowly and in the same way you can synchronize the rhythm and tone.

Now comes the last V is Vocals The words and the conversation that the opposite person is saying and using This topic is not that important, so we'll talk later.

C) Congruence

We are watching a movie or series and we knew in our heart that whatever is happening is false. However, when one of our favorite characters dies or something bad happens to them, we feel bad. We feel angry and few cry. Even after knowing it was false, it was not real, we believe in all the things we see in that movie or series and we relate emotionally to it, why does this happen? this is something we should think about well, the reason for this is Congruity.

Well executed actors always focus on 3 V'S of communication WHILE they act or act Meaning of their body language (visual) Vocal and verbal are congruent with each other, therefore, we find that their interpretation is real and we believe it. In the same way, if you want people to believe you and form an emotional connection with you, try to be congruent, which means that it should not happen, because through your body language you look nervous and only your tone of voice is safe. Instead, you should see yourself confident in ALL three Vs in your body language, in your voice and even in your words.

Here I have explained Two parts Meeting and Rapport and third part are communicating. In the third part, I will explain how to communicate with people and what to talk about. Most people do not understand what they should say when they meet someone for the first time. what they should talk about so that their conversation is interesting so that people love their company. However, this is a big and important issue, so I will explain it in the next article. Everything I have explained in this article, I implement it in real only watching videos at home, nothing will happen Today we spend so much time with our cell phones that we forget the importance of making a face to face conversation, therefore We try to use your phone less and become real people.

Now, to finish, I shared this knowledge of the book "How to make people like you in 90 seconds by Nicholas Boothman.

If you want to improve your communication skills and want to become an awesome person, then, if you buy this book, it will be very useful for you.

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